Monday, February 28, 2005
i cried.. i cried.. i cried......
let me cry alone plz... let me be... i'll cry wen stressed.. so let me be.. i'll be alrite......... trust me.....
i'm so stress up by all e' thgs tt happened.. y when there's a stress.. all e' stress will come one by one... wat is dis... i juz hate my life.... i hate all dis thg..
i chatted wif him... my heart melted.. i dun dare to tell him i miss him.. i wanna be wif him... my courage juz dun allow mi to sae all dis............
it's impossible for mi to go for someone i dun love...........
sch wrk.. argh..gonna die... loads of sch wrk waitin for mi.. *headache* construction details wasted mi 2 daes to do... argh... wat e' hell... there's more case studies. perspective, sectional, model n more n more... wat e' hell.. how can i finish all dis... 18 more daes to submission.... omg omg omg... i can feel e' stress comin.. gastric is comin back... backache is comin back... headache is comin back.. it'd been almost 2 yrs i nv had dis.. argh.. it's all becuz of dis project.. becuz of STRESS... I HATE ALL DIS.. watever.. enough of all e' argh.. mental block... all e'... all e'.. unhappy? sad? argh.. wat e' hell.. i cant think of a word..... all my anger? aiya.. watever.. let's sae some happi happi thg happened 2dae ba...
2dae is jason n julian's b'dae.. both js haha.. crap...
to jazzon...happi 18th b'dae to u wor.. haha.. :p i already said watever i wanna sae le wor.. :p dis idiot.. kana sabo le.. den sabo me.. made mi stink for e' whole dae.. er xin.. everione there r full of cake.. wahaha.. n cream.. had cake+cream facial... all thanx to him.. -_-
to julie... happi 18th b'dae to u leh.. julie julie.. aha aha.. miss u leh.. haha.. :p free muz come out leh.. btw.. all e' best to u n ur gf n everithg u do.. :p okok.. watever..
=~=HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO BOTH OF YOU=~=
2dae is mr tan last dae in sch.. gonna miss him although he's a bit.. aha aha.. :p he sae i muz work v hard for dis 3 weeks.. cuz i'm boderline case.. might repeat.... argh.. :'( add more stress to me......... argh... :'(
i'm nt feelin v well recentli.. haven recover fr cough... n i cant slp at nite.. keep wakin up at nite.. nt enough slp... pimples popin out le.... sooo sad..
gt my o eng le.. FINALLY.. pass.. wahaha... feel soo happi.. :p bt mummy still sae.. 'no gd no gd' haha.. :p i noe lar.. realli no gd.. bt at least pass.. :p
'daddy' came my hse after sch... still e' same.. NO CHANGE.. haha.. watever.. if he change.. it'll be weird callin him 'daddy' le.. haha.. :p
watever.. late le.. nite nite.. sweety dreamz.. :p take care care ppl.. :p
~fernny~ .S:T.R:E.S:S.O:V.E:R.C:O.M:I.N:G.M:E.
caught a falling star @ 11:58 AM
Sunday, February 27, 2005
she's no longer tt sweet sis of mine.. she had changed into a diff person.. a totalli diff person.. wat she cares is her bf.. she dun even bother abt e' family.. she scold me becuz of her bf... n she thinks she's rite.. it's all jokes.. bt the thgs she said... it's like a knife had pierce into my heart.. i'm sooooo hurt.. i'm soooo angry... n u'll nv understand my feelins.. nv ever... tears flow.... she's no longer e' sis i noe... no longer.. she can even sae i'm petty.. i'm in e' wrong.. nt her... we tried to tell her wat's wrong.. bt nth seems to get into her head.. she's too stubborn to listen to all dis.. n she thinks tt she's always rite..
i feel sooo down recentli.. got sick.. slp e' whole dae.. didn touch on my project for 3 daes till juz.. onli managed to do some case studies.. argh... no mood at all... soo mani thgs stuck in my head... i need someone to tok 2.. bt i juz couldn find ani.. i wanna find someone to drink wif.. bt couldn find ani... alan is nt in s'pore... :'( if nt he'll always there for me... argh...
i'm sooo confused.. so so so confused... i hv e' feelin of cheatin ppl's feeling.. n i hate tt... :'( soo mani thgs happened in dis 2 daes.. n i realli dunno wat to do.. i realli feel like endin my life n there'll be no more troubles... nt at all... bt it's too selfish to do tt...
sharlyn called.. n i bluff her tt everithg is alrite for me.. i'm happi wif my life now.. well.. IT"S ALL NONSENSE... i'm nt alrite... once again.. to produce my wrk.. i stress myself... i force myself.. i abuse myself.....................................................................
i feel soooo stress up now.. stress wif studies.. stress wif relationship... stress wif... stress wif family... stesssss wifff everithg ard meeee.... n i had enough... realli had enough... y is there stress? y i gt stress so easily? cry is nt e' solution.. bt i cant help bt cry... i juz hv too much tears...
i'm strong.. m i? NOPE... i juz TRIED to be strong... i'm nt as strong as wat u think.. afterall.. i'm a girl.. i'm fragile..
i'm happi.. m i? NOPE... i smile.. i laugh.. physicalli happi bt nt emotionalli happi... bt sometimes.. my emotions overcome everithg.. where i realli cant smile n laugh.....
WAT"S WRONG WIF ME!! I HATE MY LIFE... I HATE EVERYTHING.....
~fernny~ i'm hurt by wat u guys had said.. maybe nt intentionally.. i didn sae anithg doesn mean i dun care.. it's all in my heart..
caught a falling star @ 1:48 AM
Thursday, February 24, 2005
was tt u? plz tell me.........
e' med realli make mi slp n slp n slp... i shldn eat animore of tt med liao.. shld stop takin tt med... i juz woke up.. n i'm gonna go slp again...
went back to sch to pass up my theory paper n hm sweet hm.. realli bth... slpt in e' train.. n shit.. i took e' train all e' way to bishan... wat e' hell....
hm.. slp n slp n slp.. n tt's it... my bad is still there n i haven even touch on my wrk..
i still hv to
~re draw my final layout
~sectional
~construction details
~perspective
~plant palette
~hardscape palette
~model
~case studies
blah blah... still gt wat else?? cant rmb le.. argh.. hope tt's it.. n think tt's it..
~fernny~ STRESS.. nite all.. i realli bth liao le.. hope i gt e' strength to go sch tml ba.. i muz get well.. i'm wat behind for tt project.. HELP!!!! :'(
caught a falling star @ 10:35 PM
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
sob sob... i'm sick.. freak... wat e' hell......... argh... i hate dis... block nose... argh... my cough gettin bad to worse... sore throat.. :'( fever ok liao...
didn go to sch 2dae... couldn even wake up in e' mornin.. head is bursting... n i juz woke up.. y y y? y m i sick? i cant do my wrk.. argh.. :'( i'm too tire to do liao.. i need to slp again... n my head is bursting now....... n i think i'm dyin soon..... sian.. med again... med again... gotta go eat med again... argh... finalli stay free fr all my med in e' past.. bt now... wat again.. med again... i hate tt... my head is realli bursting...... argh.... help.. i think i'm way back for my project.. bt i dun even hv e' strength to hold tt pencil... to draw... well.. i'm too tire.. i need to slp liao.. e' med makin me drowsy..
~fernny~ :'( i hate to be sick... :'(
caught a falling star @ 5:31 PM
Sunday, February 20, 2005
wah.. 1 week nv blog liao le.. now den i realise.. been bz wif my layout lar.. thgs gettin better for my studies.. bt it's gettin worst for my social life n relationships..
i oso dunno wat i gonna do... :'(
last sun.. erik came to my hse.. came to bai nian.. wahaha.. :p
on mon.. it's v dae.. another single dae... went town wif rainie, jazzon, umar, hai n shuk after sch... went to makan.. walk walk... drink drink... received a 'flower' fr jazzon.. he drew on my hand n rainie's hand.. each one 1.. wahaha.. -_- reached hm.. ahem dun let mi slp... argh.. keep smsin me.. dun let mi slp... n stupid.. he's sendin flower down.. -_- diaozz lor.. wat e'... well.. will post e' pic taken tt dae asap okok.. :p
tue another dae in sch... went out wif him after sch... ok lar.. walk ard orchard..
wed.. haha.. went to jing fang's hse for steamboat after sch wif rainie juan n jazzon... reach hm quite late.. cuz her comp kana virus n mi n jazzon help her.. played wif her sis n bro.. dam tire.. lucky thu sch start late.. haha.. :p
thu n fri SCH.. dam sian.. fri actualli meetin 'daddy' they all.. in e' end.. last min cancel.. den went hm to help my mummy to prepare e' food for sat..
sat... woke up earli earli.. cuz need to help mummy prepare food... den went to collect my sis de cake wif jie fu.. a lot ppl came.. he came.. sean n claire came.. haha.. sooo funny they all.. took quite a few fotos... n a family fotos.. soooo surprise.. daddy take foto wif us.. haha.. :p at nite.. 2nd part of e' celebration.. we went ktv.. soo nice.. bt v tire lar...
2dae.. hse wrk again.. wanna do some sectional drawin de.. bt..argh.. i'm nt realli feelin well.. sore throat.. headache.. gastric.. argh.. :'( slp e' whole dae... so nv do anithg.. :'( gotta realli realli start doin everithg tml liao le.. cannot slack animore liao le... to all my DLA fren.. CANNOT SLACK LIAO OKOK.. wahaha.. :p -_-
~fernny~ late liao.. slpin time.. n i miss everione.... n him....
i'm sooo confuse... soooo sooo sooooooo confused... i dunno wat to sae to him.. n i seldome c him online now.. i worth nth.. dun wait for me.....
caught a falling star @ 11:20 PM
Saturday, February 12, 2005
argh.... omg omg omg... juz got my hp bill... n guess wat... my hp bill hit $120...a rgh.. sian.. no mood now... argh...................................... hate tt...... wat e' hell is dis lar.... y sooo ex... argh argh argh....
~fernny~ sad sad..
caught a falling star @ 9:54 PM
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
hey hey... gong xi gong xi gong xi ni ar....
wahaha.. happi new yr ppl... :p it's chinese new yr... :p woo~hoo~ ang bao again... woo~hoo~
mon (7/2)
went back to sch... gems presentation.. wat e' hell.. start fr 8 lor.. argh... bt.. i nv slp at all.. argh.. watever.. after tt.. met da jie to go breakfast.. den went to buy cosmetic.. den hm sweet hm.. actualli wanna meet jazzon they all go shop de.. den go back bhss in e' nite.. bt cuz everione was tire.. so nv meet jazzon they all.. den no one wanna go back bhss.. den i kinda lazy too..so nv go lor.. in e' end.. went swim swim wif da jie n nicole.. swim n swim n swim like mad woman.. wahaha.. :p can i imagine.. i swim more den 15 laps... wahahaha...... :p went to j8 after tt.. wanna buy salmon for new yr.. den wanna shop for bags for new yr.. bt cant find ani.. to took train to ns to buy... wahaha... :p didn manage to buy ani bag.. nvm lar.. use old de oso nvm lar.. den hm sweet hm.. actualli wanna meet sky de.. bt..argh.. i already on e' bus back hm liao.. he den call.. kinda lazy.. so nv go meet him... bt stupid sky.. dunno wat he told ronald... argh.. so soli ronald.... opps.. :p sMiLe okok... there's mani better girls out there waitin for u... :p wahaha.. :p late at nite.. tiff called.. n i went to her frenz hse to collect e' dog.. luwie... she's dam dam dam cute... bt soo ke lian... will post her pic up later.. :p reach hm late late.. bath her.. comb her.. blah blah.. gotta slp wif her.. cuz she keep barkin n barkin n barkin.. argh... bt nvm...
tue (8/2)
didn hv enough slp.. cuz luwie keep barkin non stop.... gotta make her slp all tt.... argh.... :p earli in e' mornin.. da jie's fren came to help her groom... wahaha.. finalli get to c her happi face... :p woo~hoo~ bt she's leavin me... :'( sob sob... hope i gotta c her asap ba... i realli miss her now.... after sendin her off.. i did some hse wrk.. den steam boat.. yummie yummie... :p went chinatown late at nite... bought peanut for mummy n kai yun zhu for mummy n jie fu... :p ahaha.. :p back hm.. already almost 2.. bath den waited for jie fu to come.. :p he came to collect e' plant.. den erik n gang they all r downstair.. dam noisy lor.. i went to kitchen n they voice.. liew.. can u imagine how loud?
wed (9/2)
happi new yr ppl.. wahaha.. :p woke up quite earli i think... bath bath.. prepare a bit den went to bai nian liao... ang bao time... breakfast.. yummie.. always soooo mani thgs to eat... yummie.. :p bt i juz hate someone.. argh.. 1st dae of new yr.. lets nt tok abt all e' hate hate n bad bad thg ba... everione waited for adison to come.. he's soooo cute.. sooo much diff sia.. grow sooo much liao... at least nt as tiny as last time... haha... bt all e' time there was slp slp n slp... soooo cute.. after everione go hm... went to slp.. wahahaha... FINALLI.. gotta slp.. :p later gotta go watch movie again.. :p haha.. :p racing stripe... woo~Hoo~...
~fernny~ happi new yr ppl...
caught a falling star @ 7:24 PM
Sunday, February 06, 2005
omg omg... i realli miss him.. he came online n i didn realise.. argh... i miss him lots lots...
it's a shoppin dae... wahaha.. :p orchard again.. as usual.. n my legs r achin now... argh... in e' end.. i bought a new skirt, shirtl, bag, nail polish n eye lash curler.. wahaha... :p had a wonderful dinner... dam dam dam delicious... yumie.. ookok.. dam tire.. i update again..
~fernny~ nite all.. :p
caught a falling star @ 11:58 AM
Thursday, February 03, 2005
mood swing again? ya.. maybe... argh.. i hate dis.. ppl.. KILL ME.... STAB ME IN MY HEART.. plz...
i feel like cryin.. bt i cant... there's no more tears... not at all..
i miss him badli suddenli... i'm v confuse now.. v v confuse... hu i like.. seriousli speakin.. i dunno.. i realli dunno... ppl... dun ask mi... ppl.. plz dun like mi.. plz..... argh... i hate dis.. i hate all dis....
why is there feelings? why is there hurtings?
u hurt my feelings.. u made mi cry..
bt y m i still waitin for u? waitin for u to sae.. 'i love you'
i dun wanna hurt u.. nt animore..
i dun wanna hold u.. nt animore..
i dun wanna love u.. n i promise.. i'll nv love you...
cuz i wanna cry no more....
argh... i oso dunno wat happened to me.. y i miss him sooo much...
sian sian... sch.. sian.. went to sch earlier cuz wanna do my model.. my whole dae in sch doin model.. wahaha... can u imagine? left wif e' 3rd storey onli.. wahahaha... :p soo sian.. tml muz reach sch on time..argh.. cuz i'm e' 1st for interim.. argh... 8.00 lor.. sooooooo sway... argh...
stupid.. stupid.. stupid.. tokin on fone wif mr sky n 'cloud' now..w ahaha... bye all.. haha.. dun miss mi.. :p
~fernny~ misses youuuuu... :p
caught a falling star @ 10:54 PM
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
wahaha... :p forgotten to blog ydae...
ydae.. 1st feb... stupid.. went sch... help ppl do nails.. den read mag.. den slp slp n slp... stupid lor... i realli slp till liew.. dun care abt ppl ard mi liao le... was listenin to jazzon radio.. n there's dis stupid DJ saes.. 'so a brand new beging.. cuz it's e' 1st dae of e' mth.. 1st tue of e' week... 1st feb of e' yr... blah..' dun u guys think it's stupid? cuz it's life... there's always a 1st dae of a mth.. there's onli 1 tue.. wat's e' pt saein 1st tue of e' week? everidae yr gt feb.. wat e' hell is 1st feb of e' yr.. argh.. duno lar.. watever..went for gems discussion after sch.. went imm after tt wif da jie n er jie.. bought a lot of stuff.. tried a bottom fr op.. shld i buy or nt? 49.90.. shld i? bt left pink onli... argh... oh ya.. wen we walk to e' entrance.. i saw dis guy wearin jean perry's top.. i tot it's steven.. wahaha.. :p cuz it's like.. e' back... same same de... wahaha.. n he's smokin some more.. bt.. too bad... nt him.. nvm nvm.. i'm goin down expo dis fri to look for alice... n.. wahaha.. comfirm he'll be there de.. wahaha.. i miss steven........... reach hm quite late.. on e' fone wif jay.. n idiot.. i shldn hv agree on tt.. we had an agrement.. if both of us dun hv stead for 2 yrs.. *after his ns* we'll go steady.. omg omg.. can i take back my words? argh... after tt was sky... tt idiot.. as usual.. di di siao siao... wahaha.. :p keep forcin mi to intro girls to him.. wat e' hell......... forever.. 100 nian bu bian de lor... n i sae sth wrong again.. argh... can i take back? argh.. :'(
2dae.. sch.. another slackin dae... 3 daes in a row.. wanna slp.. bt cant.. went to tok tok tok wif shuk... den chun help mi tie my hair.. n as usual.. shuk came n 'help' oso.. look.. argh... crazy woman.. nope.. is girl.. wahaha.. :p upload e' pic den show u guys... haha.. :p tot i cut hair liao.. they'll nt play.. bt.. I WAS WRONG!! watever.. went makan den had CRS test.. idiot lor.. on s'pore idol again.. wat e' hell is tt... managed to finish it in an hr.. wahaha.. cuz i was dam irritated by my fone.. soli ppl.. i dun mean it.. sooo pai sei lor.. my fone keep ringing n hong beside mi keep gvin mi tt irritated sound... n after e' test.. i realise.. mani ppl heard tt n was irritated by tt.. wahahaha... :p pai sei...... fern here is realli realli soli.... went back to studio wif shuk.. play comp.. waitin for e' rest.. after tt.. dam tire.. went hm.. slp slp n slp... for a while onli.. cuz sky callled n chatted wif mi.. argh... forever de lor.. call at e' wrong time.. :p juz came back fr a run... lucky sky.. call at e' rite time.. cuz he juz call wen i juz reach hm.. haha.. :p FINALLY... stupid him.. i'm his DJ again... stupid serena again... kinda scared of tt song liao.. comfirm wen he call tml.. i gotta play for him again.. argh.. wat e' hell...
gotta go bath liao ppl.. smelly like hell.. haha.. :p
~fernny~ i'm happi.. be happi oso ok.. :p sMiLE.. :)
caught a falling star @ 11:11 PM